About eight months ago a guy approached me after one of our church experiences. He walked up to me with this odd look on his face and said “Are you the pastor?” thinking to myself (it depends); however I replied “Yes, What’s up?” He said “I’m your biggest challenge” I said “Excuse Me” and he repeated himself. I’m thinking this is some kinda code for something that I may not be not privy to; I didn’t go to seminary and I thought this might be one of those preparation areas that I missed. (grin)
He went on to say “I don’t believe!” I invited him to my office so that we could chat for a bit. We began talking and he began to share his story with me and his experience with Christians, The Church, and the fact that he could not believe taht there is a God… I did more listening than talking as he was dropping “F-Bombs” and going on and on. I really appreciated the rawness of this guy and you could tell that he was really searching. Every once and awhile when he would use a cuss word, he would follow it up w/ a “My Bad.” I would just chuckle and continue listening…
We talked for quite some time and I wanted t make a commitment to at least follow-up with this guy and stay in touch…. Again, you could tell that he was searching and needed someone to just listen, give some insight and not be judgmental. We decided to exchange e-mail addresses, so that we could stay in touch; I gave him my business card and he gave me his e-mail address.
I told you that this guy was raw; even his e-mail address was raw… his e-mail address seriously was: pimpsh_ @yahoo.com">_73@yahoo.com. This was a classic ending to a day and to what would become one of the more interesting stories in my ministry career.
More on my friend The Atheist tomorrow; seriously this story is heart wrenching.
Thoughts? Do you find yourself in situations where you don’t need to be so quick to judge and simply just listen?
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13 Comments Received
March 18th, 2008 @1:50 pm
I love this story, so awesome!!! And that is definitely something God has been teaching me…listen!!!
March 18th, 2008 @1:59 pm
many times as Christians, people EXPECT us to judge.
I guess that’s because we are known for judging everything and everyone.
There was once a time when we were ALL on the outside looking in.
Scott, thanks for reminding me to listen first.
March 18th, 2008 @2:09 pm
I first learned that listening is an art when I took a session on listening at a conference I attended. Second, learning not to judge is even more challenging than mastering the art of listening. I can’t wait to read more of this story.
March 18th, 2008 @2:56 pm
I love being in this kind of position. The crazier the better. I love to listen and respond in kindness and true caring. I do it all the time at work and in my personal life. I don’t care where they came from or what they look like if I can help I will.
March 18th, 2008 @3:04 pm
Can we get to part 3, please? Love this story. Oh, right. I can hear Robin Meadows saying, “Patience is waiting without complaining.”
March 18th, 2008 @3:05 pm
“Do you find yourself in situations where you don’t need to be so quick to judge and simply just listen?”
- Daily, IF not hourly.
- People don’t want answers nearly as much as they want to be understood, respected and loved.
- People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care. – this still rings true.
- We’re not very good, in the church, with the discipline of listening. That is: really focusing on what’s being said without tuning out or thinking more about our own answer/response.
- I’ve probably written too much here to be heard… ha!
March 18th, 2008 @3:28 pm
As a former “f-bomb” kamikaze, I can safely say that dropping said bomb is the sure-fire attention getter that people who need and long to be heard from deploy. It’s a way to signal to us that there is so much pain and frustration in their lives that, to them, there are no suitable words – other than the bombs – to describe the destruction and mayhem in their lives. Listening is a skill. Before people want to be helped, they want to be heard without judgment. Listening is difficult for people who are consumed by their emotions. That’s where we come in. Isn’t this why we really have two ears and one mouth??
March 18th, 2008 @4:31 pm
It’s very interesting. I read this post and comments and then go back to the previous post and comments and then here again, and back again…fascinating. (grin)
March 18th, 2008 @6:46 pm
i love to listen but i observe so much so fast that i usually have people broken down to the basic denominators quickly and that often renders them not minute-worthy.
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i listen to observe, and observe to solve, and it can be a problem in thinking people are not efficient enough in their communications.
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it is not judging…it is fact-finding…he with the best intel wins…right?
March 18th, 2008 @6:54 pm
Thanks for all the thoughts and observations…. There are so many lessons, I love being a student.
Jimmy you are back (smirk)
March 18th, 2008 @8:55 pm
I’m ready for part 3 too, Cindy…but, remember, I’ve just learned that patience is waiting without suggestions….hmmmm
March 18th, 2008 @10:53 pm
Scott,
I have Atheists on my blog every day. I even had lunch with Askanatheist.com when I went to Catalyst last year. If you treat them with respect they keep in contact.
March 19th, 2008 @5:21 am
I am new to this blogging world, and can’t wait to hear this story. This is a great passion of mine and have learned through many discussions with atheists that all I can strive to be is the purest example of Christ I can muster up in my human self for these lost and dying people. I have so much compassion for them.
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